Don't be so hard on yourself, no

I have no idea what has happened to me this week. Last week I was really productive and now I'm the complete opposite. The only thing I have actually stuck to is my workout routine, but that about it. I have no motivation for anything this week, whether it's job applications, keeping a healthy diet, working on my book, or even updating this blog. Feels like all I do is sit around and watch series while stuffing my face. Or actually, I was reasonably healthy Monday and Tuesday, but yesterday and today have both been complete disasters, both ending with me stuffing my face when I get home. The fact that I don't really have anything to do with my days makes me restless and the more I procrastinate what I feel I should be doing, the more stressed I feel. Hence, the binge eating. I'm a massive comfort eater.

It also causes me to think about how much pressure I put on myself. When I achieve or succeed at something I hardly notice it, and I always find it strange if others are impressed with something I've done. Because to me, it was just the obvious thing to do, or else I would be a failure. So the times when I don't achieve the results I want, or don't maintain discipline enough I beat myself up. A lot. I never give myself a break, never have, and I have often been told that I should be proud of what I've achieved and that I need to lighten up. But I'm just never happy with my efforts unless I perform perfectly and achieve exactly the results I want, as quickly as I want them. Ridiculous when you think about it, but that's just how I am. Always focusing on how far I've got left to go instead of how far I've come. I need to stop being so hard on myself, but how? I have no idea.