I just had a bit of a nervous breakdown

I've been feeling pretty dodgy all day due to sore stomach and fatigue, so I've basically only eaten rice, eggs and some ice cream today because that seems to be all that my stomach can handle (barely because it was still sore). The truck ride went fine, but when we got to the bus station there was like nothing to do and nothing to eat. I've felt the culture shock getting stronger and stronger, because nothing has been familiar for two weeks and the fact that pretty much no one in this area of the country speaks English, making it very hard to communicate, is really stressful. 

I was already stressed out when we got to the bus station so when I went to buy water (desperately needing it) and the woman wouldn't accept my 1000 baht note to pay for my 10 baht water bottle, and also didn't accept card, I felt the tears threatening behind my eyelids. This kind of surprised me because I wasn't feeling that upset when I went in the shop. So when I then step outside only to be told that the what must be the shittiest bus in all of Thailand, is the one that we're going to be sitting on for seven hours. The tears threatened to break past my eyes, and I started ranting aggressively about how outrageous this was, in order to keep them at bay. Then I was told that there was no toilet on the bus and I thought I was going to lose it completely. 

I was barely holding it together walking over to the toilets and as soon as I was in the cubicle, I lost control and the tears just came flooding. So there I was, sitting on the toilet sobbing away like some baby while I can hear someone taking a shit in the cubicle next to me (which I didn't even care about). I'm surprised at how quickly the tears came on, but I guess I just reached the limit of how much culture shock I could handle. But I feel better now and I've accepted the fact that this is how it is now. 

It's just a bit of a tease to put us on a really nice overnight bus on the way up to Umphang, to then put us on this piece of shit on the way down, but oh well nothing to do now but accept what is. But I will write an angry email to the agency for putting us on this bus. Right now, however, I will listen to happy music, close my eyes and pray that I can sleep. 

I am so ready for Hua Hin Beach, which is more touristy. I've enjoyed doing only things Thai for the past couple weeks, but I'm ready for a more westernised place now.